Here’s Why You Shouldn’t Tell Your Teenager to Sit Up Straight

When I look back on my teenage years, the feeling is quite mixed. Along with the fond memories, unforgettable friendships and abandon of responsibility, I can’t help but reflect on what a terribly awkward time it was.

That awkwardness was never lost on adults who liked to chime in and try to illustrate how well they could relate. I remember cringing whenever I was told, “You kids care so much about what your friends think of you,” or explanations on how we sought approval from others. I didn’t think they had a clue about my life and it just sounded like ‘old people’ talk.

Recently, I saw groups of teenagers dressed up for their school’s formal dance, parading around town in their fancy attire. The young ladies, giggling nervously; the young men, galumphing behind them. I could now see them through the lens of an ‘old person’ and it was painfully transparent to watch how much validation they sought for every word or gesture they made. Yet, beyond their bumbling, there was one thing that stood out far more than their flagrant awkwardness. Not one of these youth stood tall. It was almost as though they were deliberately trying to shrink themselves to appear smaller and less visible.

While the obvious reason would be their blistering insecurity, there are several other culprits at work…